Reflections from the Artist’s Way, Week 3: Recovering a Sense of Power
This week's material focuses on the various emotions that we may experience as recovering artists. Anger, for example, is a powerful motivator for us to make changes. I wasn't necessarily angry this week but I definitely felt disappointed and hopeless. And when that happened, I found myself turning to creative work, such as zine making, as if my art was the only constant I had control over. Shame is another good example. Putting our work out there and being vulnerable invites others to critique our art and motives. Cameron writes:
As artists, we need to learn how to seek out constructive criticism and recognize whose opinion is worth listening to. Cameron also offers a set of rules for handling criticism. Here's my simplified version, which I can refer to when experiencing second thoughts, shame, or anger following a criticism.
I love the concept of synchronicity that was introduced this week. When we take steps towards our dreams and callings, we may feel as if an entire chain of events follows our decision, bringing in various incidents, events, meetings, as if the universe was listening to our prayers. These are synchronicities. I really believe in this concept and I've decided to keep track of such coincidences from now on. I remember reading The Fountainhead last summer and admiring how the author, Ayn Rand, managed to incorporate her life philosophy into the characters. "I wish I could write like that," I thought to myself. The same week, on a book sale shelf at my local library, I found a crisp book on her work and life by Anne C. Heller.
Morning Pages. I celebrated my birthday this week. It also prompted me to reflect on how I feel about turning 33. I realized I'd never felt more loved, safe, and creative in my life. I started having a lot of dreams and paying more attention to them. They're the first thing I write about in my morning pages. Interestingly, I frequently see in my dreams coping with difficult situations by writing about them in my journal or imagining myself as a writer, pouring feelings like loss and emptiness onto pages. My subconscious seems to be working on my internal artist even when I'm asleep.
Artist date. I went to a stationery store and bought some paper for zines. I also printed my first zine, attended another zine workshop, and spent a lot of time researching different types of materials and binding techniques.
I'm also gradually convincing myself to go for walks. On Sunday, we went for a long walk in the neighborhood, which I haven't had much time to explore since moving. It was a lovely day, cool but sunny. There wasn't a soul in sight. I can't wait to write on a park bench in my neighborhood when the weather improves.
